Politics: If We Don’t Laugh, We’ll Cry

I don’t know about you but with all the campaigning going on, on both sides of the border, I’m feeling a strong futility in it all. Will Obama really bring change? What if McCain gets in? He’s a maverick liberal Republican but he brought Palin in as his running mate to get the redneck conservative, uber right-wing fundamentalist, female Republican vote. Whoever gets in will have to clean up the giant mess Bush has left the country in: soaring debt, crashing wall street and mortgages, war on terror (how I hate that phrase), loss of rights and freedoms, dropped dollar, reviled throughout the world…thanks, George, you did an amazing job.

In Canada Dion is considered not strong enough, Harper close to running a regime, not a government, Layton cleaning up after his pothead candidates and May (Green Party) moving up fast even if the party is still a little green. Promises tossed out like bird seed. Harper’s Conservatives making comments about ethnic people responsible for crimes, Dion proposing more carbon tax without bringing through other environmentally viable options.

And what does it get, billions of dollars…billions spent to promote themselves? What could all that money have really done for people, the economy, the environment? Alas, we’ll never know as it went to pumping up egos. Well sure it supported some spindoctors and campaigners but someone like you or me could never consider being the head of our country unless we’re multi-millionaires. And as we’ve seen, rich does not equal wise or competent

I’m going to go beat my head against the wall. But in the meantime below is a very funny spam for money going around. Anyone who falls for it wll be particularly stupid and deserving of losing their bucks. The other is a fun little piece by JibJab on campaigning. Does it say anything that I can’t seem to find a good funny on Canadian politics?

SUBJECT: REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

DEAR AMERICAN:

I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE. (indeed, it will have a great magnitude when you realize what an idiot you’ve been.)

I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED THE NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 800 BILLION DOLLARS US. IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER, IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU. (Considering how bad Bush is with the English language I could see how someone might think the rest of the government is as equally inept. So much so, that they can’t transfer funds without the help of the average American.)

I AM WORKING WITH MR. PHIL GRAM, LOBBYIST FOR UBS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY. (Lord help us. If he was nearly single-handedly responsible for the mortgage crisis, then putting him in charge of the treasury will be like a kid in a candy shop.) AS A SENATOR, YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS THE LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990S. THIS TRANSACTIN IS 100% SAFE. (Oh yeah, and so is that beach front property in Nevada. As safe and accurate as your spelling.)

THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY. WE NEED A BLANK CHECK. (Hahahaaa, oh yeah. I need a blank check too. Just fill in the amount. Perhaps Gram could send me one.) WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. (Could that be because of the grand illegality of it all?) MY FAMILY LAWYER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON WHO WILL ACT AS A NEXT OF KIN SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED. (What, Gram has no next of kin? Surely he could claim McCain as one.)

PLEASE REPLY WITH ALL OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IRA AND COLLEGE FUND ACCOUNT NUMBERS AND THOSE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN TO WALLSTREETBAILOUT@TREASURY.GOV SO THAT WE MAY TRANSFER YOUR COMMISSION FOR THIS TRANSACTION. AFTER I RECEIVE THAT INFORMATION, I WILL RESPOND WITH DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT SAFEGUARDS THAT WILL BE USED TO PROTECT THE FUNDS. (That would be the safeguards so that you’re not found after bilking people. But really anyone stupid to send all their account information deserves this. And who has account info for their kids and grandkids? My mother certainly doesn’t have mine. But if these spammers are successful perhaps they can take over the US treasury and fill it up in no time.)

YOURS FAITHFULLY MINISTER OF TREASURY PAULSON

http://www.peteyandpetunia.com/VoteHere/VoteHere.htm

Politics: The Lemmings of Canada

Here we are chugging along through another election campaign full of pointing out what the others won’t do. Although from what I’ve heard, some of the parties are actually saying what they plan to do while saying what they others aren’t doing. Although Dion’s carbon tax (it’s become the newest catchphrase in the world) is not popular he does seem to have a better plan for various environmental aspects. Whether it would work, whether the Liberals would actually do it, who knows.

Unfortunately, there is so much of the usual rhetoric that it’s hard to even listen. Inflated promises that deflate soon after any party gets into power. In Alberta, it won’t really matter much what anyone says. Like lemmings, Albertans have voted Conservative forever, or at least since 1971. The chance of change is pretty much nil. Even when Ralph Klein raped their healthcare system and laid off numerous people, Albertans still jumped into the sea after the Conservatives. I think the Reform party (now melded back into calling themselves Conservatives) gained a few seats in the conservatively redneck lands of Alberta.

But that’s the provincial government. How Albertans vote for federal politicians may be different but I’m betting the majority goes Conservative. BC, on the other hand, has always been a pendulum province, going through a string of political parties one after the other.

When “Fundamental Bill” Vander Zalm’s Socred party got caught in too many scams, they were voted out so forcefully that they ceased to exist. The NDP came in strong and yet when they were caught in a scandal(some of it media generated) they dropped to two seats and the Liberals came in.  The current Liberals match closer to the Socreds of long ago, being more right-wing, and closer to the federal Conservatives. It looks a bit like Campbell and his goons will continue to rape the province like Klein did. Voters forget the numerous jobs that were lost, the lowered standards in our health care and hospitals which have caused many deaths due to rampant infections. The Liberals ripped up and dishonored contracts, so how could anyone trust them, yet they got in again, just like in the Klein Reich. Lemmings, yes, they’re everywhere.

BC provincial politics differs from its federal politics and it’s been possible in the past to have an NDP provincial government but Conservative, federal representatives. These days, we seem to be more of a mosaic. I must say, this is just my opinion, my feel, and I haven’t done much research into the actual numbers.

But I always worry about the lemmings. Too much of the electorate is ignorant of what really goes on, becomes starry-eyed with hollow promises and listens to media hype and believes it. Voters have notoriously short memories. They forget all the infringements of a government and only remember the good things that all governments plan just before an election. Gordon Campbell in his supreme arrogance felt he had nothing really to apologize for when he was caught drinking and driving in Hawaii. Sure, we all make mistakes, but the self-righteousness of Campbell meant that when other politicians had resigned over presumed wrongs he just gave a finger to the people of BC, like he did when there were protests of 40,000 strong in Vancouver.

But who remembers that? And I’m mixing provincial and federal politics. Of course, we have less direct conflict with federal leaders than with provincial leaders. Call me skeptical though. Whoever gets in (unless it’s the NDP or Green Party who have not held federal leadership positions before), we’ll soon see that half the promises go unfulfilled and that various scandals and wrongdoings will bubble to the surface like a pestilential pool.

I suppose I’m somewhat cynical, but then I remember beyond yesterday’s political promise, and when all the lemmings are jumping to their doom, I’ll shake my head. Of course it won’t help the country and sometimes I almost want to run as an opponent. I guess I should go get the dinghy ready with the emergency supplies.

I should also add that I know less of Canada’s other geographically specific lemmings. Quebec has been known to waft back and forth between Bloc and Liberals and even Conservatives. Ontario too but I’m less able to whine about them.

http://www.abheritage.ca/abpolitics/events/party_intro.html

Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea: Canadian and US Politics

Well, it looks like both countries will be moving towards an election because Stephen Harper is going against his own wish of a set date for elections (as the US does) to avoid having his government raked over the coals in the next session.

People are talking about the excitement of US politicians as opposed to the same humdrum rhetoric of the Canadians. Actually, they’re most talking about the fresh new aspect of Obama than the same ole political claptrap of men in suits. Let’s face it, in most cases, it doesn’t matter if you vote Conservative or Liberal, because they’re really all going to do the same thing. That’s how Canadians see our politics and the last election had something like a 64% turnout.

Part of the difference is that we have leaders for our political parties throughout the four years from one election to the next. So we know that Stephane Dion would be the next prime minister if the Liberals win and that Stephen Harper will be if the Conservatives win and that Jack Layton will be if the NDP win. We get tired of hearing about them. There’s no mystery, (the two big parties even have a guy with the same name though one is anglo and one franco) no big rev up to who will win the race as the Republicans and Democrats do it. (It’s also a lot less expensive in the campaigning aspects).

If we look at John McCain, he’s a lot more of the same old boring with a full military background, though he’s considered a bit of a maverick. You don’t see military in politics as often in Canada. He pulled a surprise move with choosing a running mate who is a fairly inexperienced, new senator. And she’s a woman. When you look at it, he almost had to do this when the Democrats were going to make history either way, with either a woman or a African-American. McCain needs to make his campaign look fresh too and make history and the only way to do it is to have a female running mate.

Of course Canada had its first woman Prime Minister back in 1993 with Kim Campbell, who really was set up as the fall guy (or woman) for Brain Mulroney’s destruction. Mulroney, was in his own way, unknown to the Canadian public when he ran for office. He has that gift that Obama has; he’s a good orator, but then he’s a lawyer and they’re often practiced at acting. And Mulroney can definitely act. He did it recently when he was being investigated in the Carl Hans Schreiber affair. I didn’t believe a word of the theatrics though.

Obama is a great orator and Hillary Clinton is pretty damn good. Now Hillary is a lawyer too and in Canada, all the prime ministers since Lester B. Pearson (1963-68) have been lawyers except for Stephen Harper. (People always make jokes about trusting lawyers and yet we vote them in as our leaders.) He has degrees in economics, whereas Jack Layton, Stephane Dion and Barack Obama have degrees in political science. Could that be a sign of the new future; people who have actually studied how politics works?

All I can say is that like most Canadians, I’m sick and tired of the double speak, the hollow promises and lies. No wonder no one wants to vote. They think it won’t make any difference. A fresh new look would be good. Voting for the Liberals or the Conservatives is pretty much six of one, half a dozen of the other. But if Obama or Clinton were running here, I’d certainly be voting for either of them.