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Apocalypse Diet Summary: Days 59-60

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What zombies eat. See below for what I eat. Creative Commons: geekstir.com

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 59 (Feb. 28):

I think I figured out one way that I’ve not seen so far to deter zombies from chomping on a limb. This came while eating my veggie chili last night (with quinoa). Okay, so zombies are not gourmands. They’re happy to nosh on any fleeting limb, any fresh brain. They don’t care about herbs or spices or rubs or seasonings. If it’s fresh and raw, that’s all that matters. Now citrus repulses mosquitoes and rue works for cats, so what if  I coated myself in hot sauce? Think of it. Zombie goes to bite me and recoils in eye melting horror, then claws its face apart to get rid of the bad taste.

The only problem, well I might still get bitten and if it’s a gore spewing, super viral zombie such as in 28 Days Later, then I’m doomed to be a hot zombie. But maybe the smell would throw them off. And if that’s the case, then the other way would be rub rotting meat all over yourself so that they think you’re already dead. Again, that might be terribly gagarific but we do amazing things to stay alive.

While I was pondering ways to evade zombies last night I found frozen bananas in the freezer. Banana bread! Did I have flour? Yes. Did I have eggs? Yes. And sugar? Well, I have sugar cubes and I already know it takes pounding a lot of sugar cubes to get 2/3 of a cup. But what else? Maple syrup. Hmm, could work. No honey as I don’t like it. Sorry, bees. So I grabbed my trusty rusty book called Substituting Ingredients and they mention molasses. You know those dead soldiers that hide in your cupboards and fridges for years? I have two half containers of molasses. I won’t be making banana bread tonight but I foresee this happening in the next week.

The food for the day was pollo en mole with rice for lunch. I had a brownie snack. In the evening I went for dinner with a friend and had a massive jerk chicken roti, and ate the whole thing. It actually looked a bit like a week-old zombie leg.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 60 (Feb. 29):

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What lies in the murky depths? Beans, barley, chicken, celery, carrot, onion for a tasty soup.

Yes, it’s Day 60, AD! Leap day and two months of buying no food. For breakfast, a brownie. 🙂 For lunch the yummy chicken barley bean soup. Tonight is wing’s night with the boys so I’ll be having wings and cider. No calories on leap day I hear.

On trying to outwit and outlive the zombies, if I was venturing outdoors do you think I’d wear a T-shirt that bared my neck and arms, the most favorite eating spots for zombies? No way. If I couldn’t get a full-on hazmat suit and many big guns and machetes, I’d wrap myself in as many layers as possible, and tape things around my neck. Okay, they could maybe bite off my ears and nose, but I’d have less gnawable area visible. Seriously, a lot of these zombie movies have people as stupid as the brain-dead undead. Okay, the virus in 28 Days was a rage virus and was super contagious if you got any bodily fluids in your mouth or a cut, but still…

Short for the days this time. Celebrate the Apocalypse!

To recap after my first month on the Apocalypse Diet, I’m pretending that an apocalypse takes place (maybe it’s a supervirus, massive alien abductions or an evil plot), which stops the supply lines (but for the sake of staying healthy and clean, the hydro-electric power and water are still working). Since the Mayan calendar actually shows the ending of one age and the beginning of another, maybe it’s now the Zombie Age (we’ve already had the consumer age).

I am documenting how long I can live on the food in my place, without shopping. Here are my rules:

  1. I cannot buy any food at all.
  2. If going out for dinner, it’s a bubble outside of the experiment. I can take home the leftovers but this isn’t a stop-gap so no ordering pizza.
  3. When I start to run out of proper nutritionally balanced foods I will take vitamins.
  4. When I become bored or am on to only condiments and alcohol, I will end my experiment.
  5. Someone can give me food, for in the post-apocalyptic world we might want to trade or eat together in safety once in a while.
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Apocalypse Diet Summary: Days 38-40

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Do zombies and parties mix? Creative Commons: www/plants-vs-zombies-party

Here’s my dilemma coming up. I forgot I was doing this diet and decided to have a party this coming Saturday. How do you have  a party with no nibblies at all? Alcohol’s not a problem. I’m probably going to have to make this a bubble like the restaurant meals with friends. If there are leftovers I’m either going to have to give them away or mark them (if I buy a container of something) so that I don’t use them until the diet is declared dead. On top of that, a longtime friend is coming to visit for the same weekend. She’s probably not going to be thrilled with eating very little so I might have to bubble the whole weekend. Stay tuned to see what happens.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 38 (Feb. 7):

I have to finish writing what I ate last night. I found veggie dumplings (gyoza) in the freezer so I boiled up five of those with the last of the broccoli, tossed a spot of soy and fish sauce and ate it up. Unfortunately, boiling made the gyozas too mushy. Next time will be steamed or fried.

Lunch was a tin of tuna, with dill, celery, capers, Worcestershire sauce, spices and… and. There was no mayo! Oh doom! Then I remembered I have little packets of soy sauce from takeout and yes, there was one packet of mayo and some Nando’s hot sauce. Saved. That tuna went with a garlic pesto flour tortilla of which I still have quite a few.

I had a snack of a couple of artichoke hearts in vinegar and oil, with a few crackers. For dinner, I used the last of the potatoes (about 5 med. small ones) and a bag of roasted garlic that a friend gave me and made garlic potato soup with turkey stock. I tossed in some onion because I believe this will be the last vegetable in my fridge. It was pretty tasty. I will have enough to freeze several containers. Did I mention I found a bit more chocolate in my place? Chocoholics unite!

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 39 (Feb. 8):

Today’s breakfast was nil. I ran out of time but that’s not unusual for me. Lunch was quinoa and pollo en mole. For dinner I had some of the leftover roast garlic and potato soup, and a few crackers. I believe I’ll run out of the green veggies sometime next week, and probably all veggies in about two weeks or by the end of Feb.

BTW, I did see a zombie today. I was driving on the highway and needed to get over into the right lane to exit. I signaled and signaled and signaled. The car beside kept pace with me so that I had to slow down, nearly stop to get into the lane and then exit. When I pulled up beside this car the woman was staring straight ahead, no expression on her face. There was a large dog moving in the back but she never acknowledged it. Eventually I ended up in front of her and when I looked back she was staring straight ahead, eyes rimmed in darkness, never acknowledging the dog. Maybe it was dinner. If a zombie had been tearing out brains in the next lane, she would never have noticed. Zombies that drive are somewhat dangerous on the road because they aren’t aware of their surroundings, unless it’s brains of course.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 40 (Feb. 9):

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Not a bad looking lunch for Day 40: shrimp, gai lan, quinoa, garlic & sundried tomato.

So, breakfast consisted of two chocolates. Lunch was quinoa with sundried tomatoes in oil, garlic, shrimp and the last of the gai lain. That is indeed the last of the leafy green vegetables though there are still a couple of stalks of limp celery and some Brussels sprouts.

For the party (the bubble food) I bought some cheese, a bag of trail mix, crackers and some chocolate eggs. However, those are stored separately and I’m not allowed to eat them (besides at the party). I think anything left afterwards (if in a container) will be marked with a Sharpy indicating that I can’t eat it until the experiment has ended. That’s temptation though, so how well can I resist the food that is not food?

I have found there is a slightly soft turnip in my fridge so tonight it will be neeps–carrots and turnip with garlic and herbs. Tomorrow begins the weekend of party and visiting friend. Can I make it past Day 40?

To recap after my first month on the Apocalypse Diet, I’m pretending that an apocalypse takes place (maybe it’s a supervirus, massive alien abductions or an evil plot), which stops the supply lines (but for the sake of staying healthy and clean, the hydro-electric power and water are still working). Since the Mayan calendar actually shows the ending of one age and the beginning of another, maybe it’s now the Zombie Age (we’ve already had the consumer age).

I am documenting how long I can live on the food in my place, without shopping. Here are my rules:

  1. I cannot buy any food at all.
  2. If going out for dinner, it’s a bubble outside of the experiment. I can take home the leftovers but this isn’t a stop-gap so no ordering pizza.
  3. When I start to run out of proper nutritionally balanced foods I will take vitamins.
  4. When I become bored or am on to only condiments and alcohol, I will end my experiment.
  5. Someone can give me food, for in the post-apocalyptic world we might want to trade or eat together in safety once in a while.

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Apocalypse Diet Summary: Days 25-31

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How long would you survive in the Apocalypse before having to eat this? Creative Commons: Daniel Hollister

Welcome to the Apocalypse Diet, where I have not bought any food since the new year began, unless I went out for dinner, which doesn’t count. I’m living off of the food in my place and blogging about it. I’ve hit what I think is the second stage; boredom. I’m not quite at stage III, which is the truly creative part, but living in the stretching out of veggies and protein, eating frozen homemade meals and recycling the ideas, ad nauseum.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 25:

What I’m truly missing is the fresh veggies. I tend to eat a lot of them. Sigh. Today was the nonexcitement day of two cookies and four crackers for breakfast, defrosted pollo en mole with rice for lunch, and defrosted not quite turkey shepherd’s pie for dinner. When I got home I realized that my cat might well have eaten a few zombies because I never overfed her and she’s still pudgy and glossy. I had a cup of instant hot chocolate (with Frangelico) later in the evening. I don’t like hot drinks so you know it’s either really cold or I’m desperate for sweet or both.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 26:

Zombies and people need good teeth to chew chew chew, so I had a dental appointment for breakfast. The almond milk, not quite successful clam chowder for lunch with a few crackers filled me up. It’s tasty even if it’s too watery. Dinner consisted of meeting up with a friend and having two ciders and an ahi tuna plate. So yummy from Biercraft and smothered in black sesame seeds with wasabi aioli and a bit too salty cooked spinach.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 27:

More mole with rice for lunch. Went for a couple of drinks after work and ate a bit of someone else’s calamari. I wasn’t that hungry because of the mole and yes, some chocolate peanut butter cups someone had a work. So dinner, or the evening actually involved nothing. I had two cookies and that was it. Sometimes I just don’t feel hungry.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 28:

Saturdays are always weird days of eating for me. I often don’t eat until half the day is gone. I still have this container of Dan-D-Pak Crunchy Peanut Snax Mix. They’re Chinese (or you can find them in Chinese markets) and have white sesame, black sesame, wasabi and seaweed crunchy coatings. A small handful of these is around 100 calories and while peanuts are pretty oily it’s not a bad sort of lunch.

I didn’t really eat and did work out so I was quite hungry by the time I went for dinner with a friend. I had chicken puttanesca on the Drive at the Libra Room. I go to the Libra Room quite often but usually for drinks so it had been a while since I had dinner there. Puttanesca is made with tomatoes, black olives, anchovies, capers, garlic (of course) and chilies. With a bit of cheese and generous portions of chicken this was a tangy, tasty meal. In fact, of all the Italian restaurants on the Drive I have to say this was the best puttanesca I ever had. Everything was blended so perfectly that I could taste each ingredient. Even the cheese stood out. I highly recommend it and for $15 I had enough for dinner on Sunday as well.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 29:

Sunday, another day of odd eating times. I had the leftover pasta for lunch and wasn’t that hungry for dinner so it was a

Engevita yeast has a cheesy flavor and can enhance meals. healthysupplies.co.uk

handful of the crunchy peanuts. A couple of my lemons were starting to looking sinister, so I made avgolemono, a Greek lemony soup often made with egg and orzo pasta. It turns out I had two recipes and one used rice, which is the style I made. I still have fresh parsley as well, and a lot of eggs that have to get used up. I had a small bowl and then froze the rest.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 30:

I had some of my vegetarian chili today, made with nuts and seeds and no meat. I was actually overfull with the 500 ml I ate. But somehow, I was hungry again for dinner which was pasta with artichokes, sundried tomatoes, garlic, carrot, onion and scallops. I mixed in a bit of grated parmesan and some engevita or flake yeast, which as a cheesy taste.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 31:

Here we are, at the last day of January. One month of the Apocalypse diet completed! Since I’m writing this during the day, I’ll have to post what tonight’s dinner was tomorrow. Breakfast was the crunchy peanuts, again. Lunch consisted of the last piece of chicken (besides the whole one still in the freezer) the last of the very wilted chive tops, garlic and the gai lan, which is still surprisingly green. I nuked these with some spices and water. Yes, no starch is evident as this is a throwback to my pre-Apocalypse style of eating lunches.

I’m pretending that an apocalypse takes place (maybe it’s a supervirus, massive alien abductions or an evil plot), which stops the supply lines (but for the sake of staying healthy and clean, the hydro-electric power and water are still working). Since the Mayan calendar actually shows the ending of one age and the beginning of another, maybe it’s now the Zombie Age (we’ve already had the consumer age).

I am documenting how long I can live on the food in my place, without shopping. Here are my rules:

  1. I cannot buy any food at all.
  2. If going out for dinner, it’s a bubble outside of the experiment. I will not be going out for dinner often.
  3. When I start to run out of proper nutritionally balanced foods I will take vitamins.
  4. When I become bored or am on to only condiments and alcohol, I will end my experiment.
  5. I believe I’ll be able to eat relatively healthy at least until March.

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Apocalypse Diet Summary: Days 12-15

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Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 12:

Today was another quinoa and  mole (molay, not moles) day. There was only about 1/2 cup of mole and likewise for the quinoa so I was pretty hungry by the time I got home, almost hungry enough to eat brains! Actually, if my freezer was filled with nothing but kidneys, brains, tripe, heart, tongue and all those other organ meats I would rather go outside, gnaw trees and take my chances with the zombies. They can have the organs. Blech!

For dinner I used up the rest of the quinoa with some steamed broccoli, carrot and garlic, and the last tablespoon of the earlier curry sauce. I finished off the last of a jar of Indian pickle. This stuff is extremely salty and I overdid it, making my meal very so-so. My stomach actually was growling at me (mistaking me for a zombie meal) when I went to bed.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 13:

Breakfast was  handful of hazelnuts and about 1/4 cup of pomegranate juice. The juice keeps quite well and I’ll be able to drink it for a while for fruity goodness. I took some homemade frozen gumbo out of the freezer for lunch. It’s a year-old batch and nearly the last. Gumbo is a Louisiana dish, made with a roux, which is  flour and oil stirred over a medium heat until it turns peanut butter color. Then you add your vegetables (tomato, onion, peppers, green beans, carrots, garlic, okra, etc.) and shrimp and sausage. I used turkey sausage. Some gumbos are more like soup and some like stew. With the red and white rice I added, it became more stewlike. Very filling and not low calorie. I’ll have to find a low fat version in the future.

My fridge is a type that sucks the moisture out of the air so vegetables can indeed keep for several months without going bad. Often jars of pickles and jams will start to lose their labels because the air is so dry in the fridge, and that’s saying something in the Pacific NW where there is often a lot of rain.

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What will you be eating during the Apocalypse? Creative Commons: Tokyo Genso pinktentacle.com

For dinner, I did notice the baby bok choy starting to turn so I stir fried it with enoki mushrooms, lotus root, carrots garlic, onion, fish sauce, soy sauce with scallops on rice. At the local watering hole tonight there was evidence of zombie activity. Glassy eyed beings stumbling and slurring. They seemed to be out in full force. I managed not to get infected and made it home in the light smattering of snow. Zombies probably like colder weather since it preserves their body parts better.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 14:

Breakfast was about two tablespoons of leftover rice, with a tablespoon of peanut butter and chocolate chips. Think of it as a variation on rice pudding. The hard part was when I went to work out, I also walked up to the Drive to window shop. I often go shopping for food on Saturdays, and maybe snacks and because I hadn’t yet eaten lunch it was very hard to not go and pick up some food. But so far, I’ve bought no food to bring home.

I had the last of my stir fry veggies with scallops for lunch. Dinner was at a friend’s involving cheese, crackers, meats and lots of garlic. I came home with a bag of roasted garlic.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 15:

Breakfast, something I’m never good at, didn’t really happen because I slept in. So for lunch I found some perogies in the freezer and fried them up with mushrooms, onion, chive tops, garlic and sun-dried tomatoes in oil. Dinner consisted of some of the frozen shepherd’s pie from before.

I do worry that my starch intake is higher than it would be on my normal eating pattern. This makes me think about how poor people are often overweight, because their diets are low priced and carbohydrate heavy to fill them up. While vegetables are relatively cheap, they don’t necessarily fill you up the same way.

For those just popping in, the apocalypse happened on January, 1, 2012, just in time for people to freak out about the Mayan calendar. Of course, since the Mayan calendar actually shows the ending of one age and the beginning of another, maybe it’s now the Zombie Age (we’ve already had the consumer age).

I’m pretending that an apocalypse takes place (maybe it’s a supervirus, massive alien abductions or an evil plot), which stops the supply lines (but for the sake of staying healthy and clean, the hydro-electric power and water are still working). I am documenting how long I can live on the food in my place, without shopping. Here are my rules:

  1. I cannot buy any food at all.
  2. If going out for dinner, it’s a bubble outside of the experiment. I will not be going out for dinner often.
  3. When I start to run out of proper nutritionally balanced foods I will take vitamins.
  4. When I become bored or am on to only condiments and alcohol, I will call my experiment  ended.
  5. I believe I’ll be able to eat relatively healthy at least until March.

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The Apocalypse Begins

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Apocalypse Chow is a book on preparing for outages from hurricanes to earthquakes http://www.flickr.com/photos/earthworm/5572145701/

In the late hours of 2011 the world came to an end. Or maybe it was the New Year’s virus leaving people feeling slightly comatose, half alive and glazed for January 1. It might be that misreading of the Mayan calendar, or it could be the zombie virus, a contagion that wipes out the majority of thinking humanity; in fact, come morning traffic you’ll notice many looking glazed and unthinking as they commute to jobs that are as numbing as their minds feel. There are many reasons that the apocalypse could have come about: massive abductions by aliens, the rapture taking more than its fair share, a meteorite hitting the earth, earthquakes, hungry carnivorous beetles, you name it.

For my Apocalypse I’m going with the zombies, something that wiped out a lot of humanity, leaving infrastructure in place but stopping supply lines for food. For the sake of this scenario I”m going with electricity still working and running water available. After all, I’m only doing make-believe on the Apocalypse Diet and still have to work in the world. Going smelly and unwashed and drinking out of rain puddles would not be that healthy for me. Likewise, if I start to run low on certain nutrients I’ll be taking supplements and if there is really nothing left to eat, I’ll quit the diet.

So the Apocalypse Diet begins today. How long can I live on the food in my house without buying anything? How long before I’m bored or eating condiments and drinking alcohol? I’ll do weekly posts here summing up what I’ve been eating and what trials I’ve had.

Right now, I’m in pretty good shape. Best to start your Apocalypse Diet after the holidays when you might have a lot of leftovers. My fridge is stocked with vegetables, my freezer (only the one in the fridge) with some meats and frozen soups. I have potatoes, rice, quinoa, flour and crackers. I have eggs. The fresh foods will be the ones to go first, so stay tuned.

Today, realizing that zombies were out there, ready to eat my brains while the living have raided any stores I had a meager meal. But then I wasn’t that hungry. A large glass of egg nog, with rum, is quite filling and that nog won’t last long so it’s got to go. I had about three slices of cheese, four crackers, three olives, and two chocolates that have liqueur in them. I’m actually allergic to dairy but I can’t let anything go to waste. I’ll need all the food until civilization is restored.

In the meantime, I’m going out for dinner tonight with a friend. And since forays to restaurants don’t count on the Apocalypse Diet, this won’t either. Don’t expect to see me going to restaurants five times a week to avoid my apocalypse. I can’t afford that and have some December bills to pay off. So, no shopping for food for weeks and weeks. Does anyone care to bet how long it will take for me to break this and buy food?

In the meantime the new set of knives will come in handy, especially if the zombies break through. I wonder if zombie stew is any good. And since it’s Canada, I have no gun. Until the end of the week when I post my first summary on the Apocalypse Diet, I hope you all had a great New Year’s Eve and that zombies didn’t eat your brains. Let’s hope for a healthy, happy and peaceful new year.

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