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The Polenta that Ate Vancouver

cornmeal, polenta, food, cooking, recipes

Store-bought polenta looks like a monstrous, pale sausage. From tumblr.com

One of the discoveries of my recent Apocalypse Diet was a surfeit of cornmeal. In all I probably had three cups in two jars. With no sugar nor eggs I wasn’t sure I could make anything until a friend suggested polenta. I decided to stop the diet before I was eating only polenta, an unappealing possibility because I’ve had it before and it is definitely a vehicle for sauces and not a tasty dish on its own.

So I looked up polenta recipes. So easy. All that’s needed is water, salt and cornmeal. I was a little incredulous when it said 7 cups of water and 1 2/3 cups of cornmeal. But follow the directions on the first try.

I put the water in the pot with the 1 tbsp of salt. I used coarse grain salt, which might have been a problem. When the water had a nice boil going, the recipe said to sift the cornmeal through your fingers, adding slowly to the constantly boiling water, and whisking the whole time. Unfortunately, this requires three hands. I gave up on the sifting and just poured and whisked. Be warned! The recipe does not mention the geyser like blorps of hot spewing cornmeal. Luckily I jumped out of the reach and had to remove the pot a couple of times to calm it down.

Once all the cornmeal is in you switch to a wooden spoon and stir vigorously for 45 minutes until the cornmeal pulls away from the side of the pot. I probably should have used my Dutch oven instead of the slightly smaller pot because I had some errant morsels escape and burn on the stove.

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The thickness of the polenta depends on the amount of water. With 7 cups, mine was thicker than this but about the same consistency as store bought polenta. From: http://romanianrecipes.wikia.com/wiki/Quick_Polenta

I stirred, and stirred…and stirred. And then I began to wonder if 7 cups of water was enough. The stuff thickened to a paste, to a mortar, all the while bubbling. You have to stir a lot to get the bubbles to release when it’s that thick. Teamwork would be useful for this seemingly simple process. I think I lasted 20 minutes. My arms were aching, my hands reddened by grasping the thin handle of the wooden spoon. I even had to take my rings off to stir.

After I gave up I prepared for the last stage; pour cold water into a bowl, then throw it out and put the cornmeal in. It makes a great wiggling mound. The alternative is to turn it out on the board but I was afraid of its amorphous properties. It’s interesting to note that I think this would have been a great zombie deterrent. Throw the boiling mass at a lumbering undead thing and it would stick, clog their nostrils and limit their decaying sight.

After 15 minutes I turned the mass out on the counter and it held its mountain of madness shape. There was enough that I sliced it into eights and froze it. For whatever reason the tablespoon of salt was too much. Maybe coarse salt is too strong. When I used it in cooking I didn’t need any salt in the rest of the food. I cleaned the stove immediately and it was hard enough to remove, but putting cold water in the pot, the residue cornmeal removed easily like a skin.  If I ate the polenta every day, it would probably last nearly two weeks. Next time, a bigger pot and a catapult for lobbing it at the zombies.

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Apocalypse Diet Summary: Days 82-87

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Coconut solidifies at room temperature but I keep mine in the fridge. Usually available at any store that sells Asian foods. Panang curry paste, spicy and yummy.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 82 (Mar. 22):

The end is very near. I’m going to try to make it to April 1 when I will officially stop the diet, but I might not make it through next week. I was taken out for lunch today to a Vietnamese restaurant and had spring rolls and a vermicelli with chicken with all the fixings. I ate it all but was so full that I actually didn’t even bother with dinner.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 83 (Mar. 23):

I thought I was out of the veggie nut chile but I found another container in the freezer. So I had half of that with some Bulgar wheat hiding in the cupboard for half of forever. There are all sorts of bags and jars with this and that, that I probably bought once for some recipe but forgot about. I have two different sized jars of cornmeal and I don’t know what I’ll do with them. Nothing while I’m on the Apocalypse Diet, though if it truly was the end of the world, a month or two down the road I’d probably be boiling it and mixing it with jam.

Okay, it’s time for another food experiment. I have a can of crab! Yay! Though in fact I don’t really like the taste of canned crab and that’s why it’s been there so long. I have that package of panang curry paste, and half of this block of coconut cream, and some penne pasta, so here we go. This turned out really well and very yummy. I wanted to eat all of it but it’s a pretty high fat content and I’ve saved at least half of the sauce for  another night.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 84 (Mar. 24):

Today was a busy day of running around, meeting up with a friend for brunch and out in the evening so I didn’t actually eat anything at home. What I did have was a chicken burger with fries I couldn’t finish and then some garlic butter prawns with a piece of garlic toast for dinner and that was it. I did drink half of a can of grapefruit pop/soda at home but that was it.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 85 (Mar. 25):

I was actually feeling a bit in a slump today so I didn’t eat all day until I went to a friend’s for a potluck where I had some chicken, bread and a piece of coffee cake. That filled me up. Yes, my stomach has shrunk a bit.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 86 (Mar. 26):

Lunch was truly the last of the veggie chili with the last of the Bulgar wheat. I was given half a huge muffin so that was an afternoon snack. It was a bit too dry to ever appeal to a zombie. For supper I had some of that panang curry with glass noodles. I think I prefer the pasta noodles to the rice noodles, maybe because they’re firmer.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 87 (Mar. 27):

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Zombie pasta made pink by the beets, with olives, tuna, red cabbage and capers. Actually pretty tasty.

Today’s lunch was the last of the chicken barley bean, a soup I made out of bits and pieces but will make again because it turned out so good. This is in fact the last of the soups, even though I still have turkey stock, and frozen veggies to make vegetable stock, but I have nothing to put in them. Were this truly the apocalypse I’d be sipping these broths and pulling anything edible out of the ground to add in. Someone brought me a wee sample of chicken with potato, carrot and peppers in tomato sauce. I scooped that up and a baby cupcake.

Tonight I cooked the last of the pasta with the last slices of beets, which made my pasta pink. I used a can of tuna, with garlic, capers, dill, Worcestershire sauce, chile peppers, the last of the kalamata olives, some Parmesan and…some red cabbage. I worried that I’d ruined this concoction, but the zombie pasta, with hints of red and pink like flesh, tasted pretty good. Kalamatas are fairly strong tasting but they worked.

I also had a chocolate pudding cake mix. I used the last egg, the last coconut (dry) and baked that, and then threw Frangelico on top. Not bad for three months in. Good thing I worked out tonight.

To recap after my first month on the Apocalypse Diet, I’m pretending that an apocalypse takes place (maybe it’s a supervirus, massive alien abductions or an evil plot), which stops the supply lines (but for the sake of staying healthy and clean, the hydro-electric power and water are still working). Since the Mayan calendar actually shows the ending of one age and the beginning of another, maybe it’s now the Zombie Age (we’ve already had the consumer age).

I am documenting how long I can live on the food in my place, without shopping. Here are my rules:

  1. I cannot buy any food at all.
  2. If going out for dinner, it’s a bubble outside of the experiment. I can take home the leftovers but this isn’t a stop-gap so no ordering pizza.
  3. When I start to run out of proper nutritionally balanced foods I will take vitamins.
  4. When I become bored or am on to only condiments and alcohol, I will end my experiment.
  5. Someone can give me food, for in the post-apocalyptic world we might want to trade or eat together in safety once in a while.

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Apocalypse Diet Summary: Days 77-81

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 77 (Mar. 17):

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This is starting to look more appealing. You can buy this delectable food here.

Ach, laddy, there will be a few green zombies today, I fear. St. Paddy will have to lead them away. I actually need to recap yesterday’s dinner. I boiled up some rice noodles, which turned out to be the really thin glass noodles. I made a sauce of garlic, oil, peanut butter, soy sauce, with a chunk of coconut cream I found in the fridge. Into that I dropped the mussels and clams and made a great sauce. Not only was it tasty but it was filling. Yes, the last week has seen the portions become a little more meager and because of that I’m often feeling a bit hungry. But hey, I can stand to lose a few pounds and become less appealing to zombies.

And speaking of the fiends, it definitely felt like they were gnawing on my brain today as I fought a cold that gave me a very bad sinus headache. I didn’t eat much because of it and just ate more glass noodles with olive oil, garlic, onion and Parmesan cheese. I felt better enough to drop by my friend’s in the evening and ate a few pieces of crackers and cheese but with my taste buds under siege there was a loss of appetite.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 78 (Mar. 18):

Sunday; a bit more appetite. I braved a half bowl of the roasted garlic and potato soup in the fridge. This time it sat okay in my belly but just. For supper I had a bowl of my veggie nut chile, with some of the last quinoa, Parmesan and flake yeast.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 79 (Mar. 19):

Lunch was the chicken bean barley soup. You’d think with this light a diet I’d be shedding pounds, but long ago I learned my body is great at preservation. I wouldn’t have to eat anyone for a very long time if we crashed at the top of a snow-covered mountain. I’ll probably start losing more weight once I’m eating bigger portions again. Supper was the last of the quinoa with the last of the veggie chile.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 80 (Mar. 20):

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Zombie age concoction. Not bad tasting but maybe it looks a bit like moldering zombie.

Day 80 but I’m not sure I’ll make it to 90 or even the end of this month. Lunch was the last of the spicy veggie peanut soup.

Supper’s new zombie age concoction was half of the last beet, a tin of tuna, capers, dill, the last of the onion, sundried tomatoes, a dried ancho chile, and some bad red wine that even zombies wouldn’t touch. All that on the last of the rice. I have to say the aroma was actually quite appealing.  And how did this concoction taste? The capers were tangy and salty against the sweetness of the beets. I tossed in two sprinkles of hot sauce as well, and mixed with the smokiness of the ancho chile this was another dish that was not bad. The tomatoes disappeared mostly into the background but added a bit of tangy and sweet. How long does it take to fry a diced beet? Half of forever, so either boil them first or be prepared to let them saute a good half hour at least.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 81 (Mar. 21):

Spring is officially here and I’m still cleaning out those cupboards. Lunch was the chicken barley bean soup, which at least is filling.

apocalypse diet, baking, muffins, rice flour, potato flour, food disaster, recipes

Food fail. I concede defeat. These "muffins" are good for mortar and lobbing at zombies.

Supper; well there was some leftover zombie age concoction, so I had that. This large jar of honest-to-god Polish sauerkraut has been lurking in the fridge for years. That stuff could outlast cockroaches. It had caraway and that’s about it, so I scooped out about a half a cup and heated it. Salted cabbage. Do people really live on this stuff? The good thing is that it has 30% of my daily vitamin C and a healthy dose of iron, but seriously, I think it will outlive the diet.

And then I thought, what can I make with these jars of flour? There was a ship’s biscuits recipe that literally called for hammering the dough with a mallet and I was about to try it when a muffin book flipped open to rice flour blueberry muffins. I could make this work!

I needed 2 cups of rice flour but what I thought was rice flour was cornmeal. I had 1.5 c. potato flour and .5 c. of white flour. Tossed that in with the 4 tsp. baking powder. I mixed the 2 eggs, vanilla and 3 tbsp. olive oil (it called for vegetable oil) in a separate bowl. I didn’t have honey but used  1/2 c. of maple syrup. It’s about the same consistency, right? So I mix this all together and…get a lumpy dry mortar.

It’s been a very long time since I’ve made muffins but I know the batter should be a little moister than this. So I add water, and add water, annnnd add water, probably 2-3 cups! It’s gorpy, it’s gloppy and it’s lumpy. I folded in the berries, slightly moister than just blueberries, and then tried to drop the tenacious dough into the muffin tin. I baked it at 350 degrees, turned the heat up and baked some more. I added more water and tried a second batch baking for 60 instead of 20 minutes. Yes, forever! These things are bricks and probably only good for lobbing at zombies. Obviously, potato flour is very different from rice flour. They kind of became bread like but tasted awful.  It’s the eggs and syrup that seem the biggest waste here. Score one for the zombies.

To recap after my first month on the Apocalypse Diet, I’m pretending that an apocalypse takes place (maybe it’s a supervirus, massive alien abductions or an evil plot), which stops the supply lines (but for the sake of staying healthy and clean, the hydro-electric power and water are still working). Since the Mayan calendar actually shows the ending of one age and the beginning of another, maybe it’s now the Zombie Age (we’ve already had the consumer age).

I am documenting how long I can live on the food in my place, without shopping. Here are my rules:

  1. I cannot buy any food at all.
  2. If going out for dinner, it’s a bubble outside of the experiment. I can take home the leftovers but this isn’t a stop-gap so no ordering pizza.
  3. When I start to run out of proper nutritionally balanced foods I will take vitamins.
  4. When I become bored or am on to only condiments and alcohol, I will end my experiment.
  5. Someone can give me food, for in the post-apocalyptic world we might want to trade or eat together in safety once in a while.

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Apocalypse Diet Summary: Days 73-76

 

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If only I could make these for my Zombie Salon. Creative Commons: xsomnis, flickr BrettMorrison gallery

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 73 (Mar. 13):

Originally I predicted I could make it till March on the food in my place without buying any, and I have. I’ll make it to the ides of March but will I make it beyond? Anyone want to place a bet on which day I’ll capsize? I said I’d stop when there was nothing but condiments and alcohol, but I am becoming heartily sick of this diet. I miss my veggies. While there are a few veggies and frozen fruits left, I can continue but I won’t last long when they’re gone, not too mention the nutritive balance will be out the window. Right now I’ve at least been getting proteins, carbs and veggies though the portions have changed.

Breakfast was! Yes, molasses banana bread. That sucker keeps going but there is only one more slice left. And lunch was Apocalypse Pottage. Dinner was a simple fair of the last of my hearty pea soup.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 74 (Mar. 14):

I missed breakfast this morning and I’m thinking about zombies, not for food yet. Seriously, if I don’t like red meat and am averse to eating humans, zombies will be very far down on the list. I’d be chomping on every bush in the vicinity first. But how else could I deter the rage infested, virus-filled hyper-diseased zombie? Well obviously, do a better job of boarding up the place. If I’m going to hammer up boards I’m not nailing those boards on straight but driving the nails in at an angle so they can’t be pushed out. Better yet, use screws. If it’s the press of numbers there’s not a lot I can do. I’d also head for the country, where there are fewer zombies. I’d get the biggest mofo truck I could manage with a winch and a huge grill so I could ram anything out of the way. A flamethrower would certainly be helpful for fricassee zombie, and of course the spiky, all encompassing clothing. No going out without a crash helmet and hazmat suit. Let’s see a movie that actually has people acting intelligently in it.

And speaking of zombies, the creeping crud is attacking me. A cold sore has started and anyone who has ever had one knows you start to look like a zombie when your skin bubbles and blisters. So I had my pseudo clam chowder for lunch. Someone gave me a big bran muffin and I was only going to eat half but it was so tasty I ate it all. But not feeling very hungry, for dinner I had a bowl of good ole Lipton’s chicken noodle soup, which I found in the cupboard. There’s enough salt in that thing to keep a pasture of cows happy but the noodly goodness is an old comfort food.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 75 (Mar. 15):

Today, the ides of March, it felt like zombies had been clawing their way out of my throat. I had a doctor’s appointment in the

zombie, apocalypse diet, food, hazmat suits, protection, end of the world

Supposedly flaming zombies isn't a good thing but I'd like to believe they wouldn't see through the flames, nor smell anything but flaming zombie. From: jadedviewer.blogspot.com

morning so I got up for that but then came straight home. My mother used to give us hot water with brandy, lemon and honey when we had colds. Of course there was little brandy but my scratchy throat determined that I would have a giant mug with hot water, a liberal dollop of brandy, a squeeze of slightly dessicated lemon, and maple syrup,  since I have no lemon. I drank that and then went back to sleep.

While I was hungry when I awoke I was also feeling slightly queasy. I ate half a bowl of the roasted garlic and potato soup, which severely upset my stomach. The weird thing is that I can do raw or fried garlic but if it’s roasted it gives me terrible gas. I have two more containers in the freezer but the reaction was severe enough I’m seeing if my neighbors would like it. Which means, the larder will empty even sooner. I’ve been looking forward to using the panang curry with some canned crab but that’s a bit too spicy for a sore throat. I ate the last piece of molasses banana bread, and had another cup of the hot brandy toddy but a skin had formed in the maple syrup and fell into my cup. That slimy thick, snotty texture was truly disgusting and I had to fish it out. Blargh!

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 76 (Mar. 16):

The creeping crud and I are in a headlock. I’m not sure who’s winning. I’m feeling rather hungry having had nothing but soup for the last couple of days. I have some Ryvita crackers, rather tasteless, but I munched one down for breakfast. Lunch was the last of the Apocalypse Pottage made with beets, tomatoes, barley and tuna. Tonight I’ll probably do up some rice noodles and a bit of fish sauce, tuna and garlic, and maybe red cabbage.

Keeping with the zombie theme, I’m having a Zombie Salon, because I want peoples’ brains. Which means, I’ll have a few people over to actually discuss topics other than sports and the weather. Since I have lots of vodka I’ve offered up martinis. Not sure if I can do a zombie themed martini though. I’ll report on that in the next update.

To recap after my first month on the Apocalypse Diet, I’m pretending that an apocalypse takes place (maybe it’s a supervirus, massive alien abductions or an evil plot), which stops the supply lines (but for the sake of staying healthy and clean, the hydro-electric power and water are still working). Since the Mayan calendar actually shows the ending of one age and the beginning of another, maybe it’s now the Zombie Age (we’ve already had the consumer age).

I am documenting how long I can live on the food in my place, without shopping. Here are my rules:

  1. I cannot buy any food at all.
  2. If going out for dinner, it’s a bubble outside of the experiment. I can take home the leftovers but this isn’t a stop-gap so no ordering pizza.
  3. When I start to run out of proper nutritionally balanced foods I will take vitamins.
  4. When I become bored or am on to only condiments and alcohol, I will end my experiment.
  5. Someone can give me food, for in the post-apocalyptic world we might want to trade or eat together in safety once in a while.

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Apocalypse Diet Summary: Days 67-72

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Not hearts but canned tomatoes, one of my lifesaver vegetables so far into the Apocalypse Diet. Creative Commons: wwwbittersweetcook.com

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 67 (Mar. 07):

People have been asking how much money I’ve saved, how much weight I’ve lost. First, this isn’t a real diet since I was allowed to eat whatever is in my place. But I have had smaller portions. I’m the type of person who could crash at the top of a snowy mountain and it would be months before I would have to eat my fellow humans, because my body can hang on really really well to its weight. I don’t change weight a lot. Throughout this, I’ve continued to work out but the carbs have gone ups while the vegetables have gone down…slightly. I don’t weigh myself (see previous posts on eating disorders) so I think I might have lost five pounds, but that’s about it.

As for saving money, I think I spend around $40/week on food. That doesn’t include dining out. So if we look at that amount I’ve saved probably around $200. Not phenomenal but then I had bills to pay so “saving” isn’t quite right. The  money just paid some of those bills.

I’m in rinse and repeat cycle. Breakfast, the molasses banana bread with margarine. Lunch, previously frozen pseudo (no milk) clam chowder. Yes, by the time I get home after working out at 6 pm I’m usually starving.

I had one precious tin of tomatoes left. I took half the tin, mixed it with onions, garlic, oregano, paprika, salt and pepper and added in some shrimp and mussels to make a sort of pilaf. I added the rest of the rice from last night, and some engevita yeast for a slightly cheesy taste.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 68 (Mar. 08):

Rinse and repeat, molasses banana bread for breakfast. Lunch was the rest of the rice pilaf with shrimp and mussels from last night.

brains, zombie food, eating, diet, apocalypse diet, end of the world

Can you say grainzzz? Brains made from edible foods by Sara Asnaghi. Now that's zombie food I could eat.

That’s quite filling. I’m beginning to think I might not make it past March. 16th as I’ll be out of most foods, but we’ll see. There are still soups in the freezer and still tins of tuna.

Dinner was the last of the gyozas in the freezer, fried up with some soy and hot sauce. I also found a prehistoric package of  “dessert topping mix” by Weight Watchers. It’s a pseudo whipping cream so I whipped it with water and vanilla and it was ready. Then I took some of the frozen berries and a bit of coconut and mixed it together for dessert.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 69 (Mar. 09):

In my cupboard are jars of flour; chickpea, rice, potato, which I have had for half of forever. While I could take one of those package mixes and still bake a cake I think I’ll try a concoction at some point that will use up these dinosaurs.  In the meantime, breakfast has been the same as all week, banana bread.

Lunch was the chicken barley bean soup, and dinner was going over to a friend’s.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 70 (Mar. 10):

I was running around all day and didn’t really eat, besides two pieces of artichokes in oil, until 5:00. I was so hungry when I was out on the Drive, buying cat food that every food place I went by was a challenge. “Oh maybe I’ll just buy two slices of pizza; that sushi roll looks really good; falafel!; maybe some smoked salmon; I could just buy a cookie… And on it went, but somehow I made it home and cooked up pasta, with some of the canned tomatoes, garlic, curry spice, some tamarind, fenugreek, fennel, salt, pepper, chili peppers and the last carrot and prawns. Oh and I added some engevita or flake yeast, which is high in vitamins and adds a bit of a creamy cheesy texture.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 71 (Mar. 11):

Leftovers of the curry pasta from yesterday. Supper was a small bowl of homemade pea soup, and then popcorn with engevita yeast later on.

pottage, gruel, barley, food, cooking, recipes, apocalypse diet, diets, zombies

Apocalypse Pottage; my desperate yet hearty concoction of the last of many things (with a sprinkle of flake yeast).

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 72 (Mar. 12):

Breakfast was another piece of banana bread with margarine though it was um…garlic banana bread because I forgot to clean the cutting board which was last used to chop garlic. Not too terrible though. Lunch was a bowl of my vegetarian nut chili.

Okay, what do you get when you mix the following ingredients: canned tomatoes, barley, quinoa, sesame seeds, garlic, a soft beet, olive oil, turmeric, dill, cayenne, hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce and a can of tuna? Gruel, pottage, goulash? That is in fact what I made tonight and I’m beginning to think I have a sense of what gruel was in the Dark Ages. The turmeric offset the barley from the red of the beets and tomatoes. The hot sauce offset the sweetness of the beets. It wasn’t bad at all, which is good because I have another two days’ worth of it.  Maybe I should open up the Apocalypse Restaurant and serve Apocalypse Pottage.

To recap after my first month on the Apocalypse Diet, I’m pretending that an apocalypse takes place (maybe it’s a supervirus, massive alien abductions or an evil plot), which stops the supply lines (but for the sake of staying healthy and clean, the hydro-electric power and water are still working). Since the Mayan calendar actually shows the ending of one age and the beginning of another, maybe it’s now the Zombie Age (we’ve already had the consumer age).

I am documenting how long I can live on the food in my place, without shopping. Here are my rules:

  1. I cannot buy any food at all.
  2. If going out for dinner, it’s a bubble outside of the experiment. I can take home the leftovers but this isn’t a stop-gap so no ordering pizza.
  3. When I start to run out of proper nutritionally balanced foods I will take vitamins.
  4. When I become bored or am on to only condiments and alcohol, I will end my experiment.
  5. Someone can give me food, for in the post-apocalyptic world we might want to trade or eat together in safety once in a while.

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Apocalypse Diet Summary: Days 61-66

zombies, food, zombie food, eating, end of the world, apocalypse, dietseating, zombie food, apocalypse diet, food, cooking

Zombie food pyramid for a well-balanced diet. Creative Commons: http://www.geekstir.com

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 61 (Mar. 01):

I’m entering month three of the Apocalypse Diet. The fridge drawers are nearly empty, the freezer is mostly stocked; carbs, proteins and veggies are all running low. I think I’ve now entered the creative stage. Be prepared for bizarre pairings (mussels and beets, anyone?).

Breakfast was a brownie and lunch was my spicy vegetable peanut soup, one of my freezer stores.

I wasn’t that hungry for dinner, weirdly, so it was a small handful of almost nonexistent crackers and a bowl of quinoa with the thawed berries (raspberries, blackberries, blueberries) that I found in the freezer, and a drop of almond extract. Oh and yes, the last brownie.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 62 (Mar. 02):

Well, I have found out I’m anemic, which has nothing to do with the diet. I’ve tended toward anemia all my life but it’s actually been a few years since the last bout. I’m on supplements now to bring up my iron intake since drinking the blood of my victims is just too gross, and zombie blood is putrid. Some of the things that have iron are molasses, broccoli, sesame seeds, certain seeds…and I’m going to have to look it up but as we know, my cupboard is getting rather bare. I have lots of sesame seeds and molasses though.

Breakfast was the last of the almond butter, nearly the last rice cake, and a sprinkle of the last chocolate chips. Lunch was avgolemono soup. I had the last handful of fresh hazelnuts in the shell, plus a few crackers and calamata olives. A friend came over later with a pizza so that was the real dinner, along with the last of the lemonade and vodka added, though it was a rather meh drink.

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Molasses Banana Bread, dark and tasty

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 63 (Mar. 03):

Lunch, the leftover pizza of course. And now for the great banana bread with molasses experiment. I didn’t have any sugar except for cubes and while I could have tried maple syrup I have a lot of molasses sitting in my fridge, which has been there since dinosaurs roamed. I managed to use up one container but still have a second. I like my banana breads as bread, not cake, so I looked for the lowest sugar recipe (2/3 cups) and substituted the same amount in molasses. They say to add 1 cup of molasses for every 3/4 cups of sugar but I left it the same. Recipes also state not to substitute more than half of the sugar, but I did it all, under duress from the zombies banging against the walls. I thought this was due to how the bread would rise. I also like my banana bread nutty but the only nuts I have left are hazelnuts so I chopped up about 3/4 cup of those.

I added extra baking soda as required. I now have little shortening or flour left but there are all those wee jars with different types so the next baking experiment will involve them. I waited for the bread to bake and it rose perfectly, When I pulled it out of the oven I cut off the heel while warm and put margarine on. It was good! The substitute of half the sugar is about the taste but if you like molasses cookies you’ll like this bread. It’s strongly flavored but still light and very tasty. I actually had two pieces and I’m now full. Molasses is also high in iron so this will help with my anemia.

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Shrimp, carrots, onions, garlic and some dried basil on quinoa. Holy hot and tasty.

I found a packet of holy basil seasoning paste, and one of panang curry mix. The second calls for coconut milk so I put it back, but I mixed the seasoning with the last of the prawns, onion, carrot and garlic, chopped up the parsley, and ate it on quinoa. How’s that for a mashup?

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 64 (Mar. 04):

Roasted garlic and potato soup, plus two slices of molasses banana bread. Supper was the leftover shrimp and basil seasoning dish with quinoa. And then popcorn with margarine and engevita yeast, popped in a pot on the stove.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 65 (Mar. 05):

Breakfast was a good sized slice of molasses banana bread with margarine. Lunch was chicken barley bean soup, and a slice of chocolate cake for someone’s birthday. After working out I was really hungry so I had penne pasta with sundried tomatoes, garlic and a mix of mussels and clams. There were a few squid bits in there but because they were frozen I didn’t fry them properly and they were like an old boot. I chopped up the rest of the parsley and added that with some parmesan cheese, and ate the whole thing.

Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 66 (Mar. 06):

It seems that Noah could easily have kept enough food for 40 days and nights if I’m still going on Day 66. Breakfast was the banana bread again and almost clam chowder but after last night, I had to vary it. I had the spicy vegetable peanut soup. Tonight, well I think it’s time to have the last of the Brussels sprouts, with garlic and oil and parmesan, and a side of rice.

To recap after my first month on the Apocalypse Diet, I’m pretending that an apocalypse takes place (maybe it’s a supervirus, massive alien abductions or an evil plot), which stops the supply lines (but for the sake of staying healthy and clean, the hydro-electric power and water are still working). Since the Mayan calendar actually shows the ending of one age and the beginning of another, maybe it’s now the Zombie Age (we’ve already had the consumer age).

I am documenting how long I can live on the food in my place, without shopping. Here are my rules:

  1. I cannot buy any food at all.
  2. If going out for dinner, it’s a bubble outside of the experiment. I can take home the leftovers but this isn’t a stop-gap so no ordering pizza.
  3. When I start to run out of proper nutritionally balanced foods I will take vitamins.
  4. When I become bored or am on to only condiments and alcohol, I will end my experiment.
  5. Someone can give me food, for in the post-apocalyptic world we might want to trade or eat together in safety once in a while.

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