Tag Archives: gossip

Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods, Oh My God, Tiger Woods!

You would think by all the hullabaloo, the prime time furor and general gossip that no one ever ever ever has cheated before. Certainly not those famous people, our modern gods: rock stars, movie stars and sports stars.

I don’t read the paper or watch TV but do listen to enough radio news (daily) to be up on current affairs. So when I’m being inundated with Tiger Woods this and Tiger Woods that, you know it’s hit a high saturation point in the media.

Past Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau once said that “The state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation.” And likewise, the media has no business in the bedrooms of individuals. You would think we lived in a puritan world where every marriage is sacred until death do they part, with fidelity the center, and love binding everyone close. You would think there wasn’t a divorce rate at about 50% for first marriages (higher for subsequent marriages) in North America.

You would think that every two couples who read the news would be mum or offer no comment because probably one of them is cheating. Not all divorces mean people cheat but infidelity is the number one reason for divorce. So why does everyone care about yet another celebrity caught with his pants down and another woman involved? Because, like the rubber neckers that have to stop and stare at every accident, we revel in the misfortune of others, in the dirt and the downfall of the mighty. Because we’re petty and we want to see those more successful than us fail so that we can say they’re no better than us. Of course, if it wasn’t for media and the population putting these people on pedestals in the first place, their indiscretions would not matter as much.

When it was reported that Kennedy had an affair with Marilyn Monroe it titillated somewhat but that might have been after the fact. With Clinton’s blow job or not from Monica Lewinsky, the US government spent millions investigating it, yet polls showed the majority of the public didn’t give a damn. That Tiger Woods is taking  a break from pro-golf over this is frankly, ridiculous. What does his personal life have to do with his professional life, unless he’s an emotional wreck and can’t play? If he could still play, being caught in coital indsicretions shouldn’t matter. I don’t care if he runs around in pink panties and oinks like a pig. What matters is that he plays golf. Now, overall I don’t care one iota about golf, and I equally don’t care about Mr. Woods’ private life.

But what gets me over and over again is that anytime some famous personage has been found to be doing something naughty everyone titters and gasps and is “SHOCKED.” And yet the two-faced standard is that most of those who are aghast have the same indiscretions. And really, can it even be helped when most ads for everything from clothing to booze use sex to sell these items. All you have to do is look at a billboard or a magazine to see women and men in provocative poses with sexy pouts upon their faces. You’ll be popular, you’ll have sex, the beautiful people will loooove you if you buy this product.

Does this mean we live in a culture of loose morals? To the true fundamental puritan types, yes. But it doesn’t mean those people lead any happier of a marital life. It’s just their culture might not allow divorce or for a person to have frequent sex or for anyone to be trained in how to give sexual pleasure. In all cultures and cases, whether people of fame, infamy or unknown to anyone but their friends, what happens in the bedroom should be of concern only to those in the bedroom (barring of course abuse) and anyone they’re in a partnership with.

The biggest culprit in all this is the media, creating a frenzy, and chewing over Tiger’s life, sharks in bloodied waters. It is voyeuristic in the extreme and all the “in-depth looks” at Tiger’s life, wife, mistress, the sordid interviews, the speculation should just be stopped so that we can get to real news. If the media is tittering over infidelity, then they should turn the spotlight on themselves and ask why they have such a kinky, unhealthy and unwholesome interest in his life.


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Internet: Rudiments of Courtesy and Respect

I have been on the internet since it was DOS, a big black screen with glowing green text. The early chat rooms and newsgroups were full of pedantic people trying to prove themselves in one way or another, from the spelling nazis to the socially insecure showing their scintillating intelligence and argumentative nature. In the new newsgroups, there are often rules against correcting someone’s typos but you can still get the know-it-alls. You also get the people who have to air their grievances against another for one and all to suffer through.

We live in a modern age of computers and instant messages. Before those came along there were phones and letters. Before that era, there were letters and pigeons. Before that, and during, there were riders on horses. Communications could always fall into the wrong hands, or not get through, or your courier be killed…if it was really important and political.

Some of our view of courtesy comes from the Victorian era but even before that, through much of the middle ages there were such things as courtly behaviour. Nobles and the higher echelon, even the peasantry, showed respect. Sure, rumours existed but they were and have always been perpetuated by people talking about the subject behind the subject’s back and never addressing the issue directly. Should one noble to the other have something particularly vicious to say, probably couched in witty ways, it was usually done face to face, because the fewer witnesses the better to deny it ever happened.

To call one out, especially one of any noble lineage was tantamount to a duel or a war, or maybe an assassination. Words had power, have always had power. Words can slander, can give respect, can color one’s view. But even as much as words reflect on the subject, they also reflect on the speaker.

No matter how wronged a person is, or how justified they may be in speaking of the scurrilous things people have done to them, when even the injured get on the soapbox it most often is not pretty. Be careful who you paint with that brush for the paint can spatter on you. I have seen this over and over, and used it as a good lesson. When the wronged one starts pointing a finger back
and getting to name calling, that person too loses credence. Sometimes turning the other cheek is the best policy.

To air one’s laundry, whether yours or the pilfered goods of the “other”, it is still airing your laundry in public. It is a tactic that holds the public hostage to a viewing whether they want it or not. It is a tactic that one does to shame the other. It is a tactic that shows the one who airs as callous, mean, little and low class. It is a tactic meant to anger and to justify one’s own behavior. And it is always lowly done and not of the noblest of intentions.

Here are a few rules by which I judge if there is courtesy and respect. I try to use these. Discussing is one thing but belittling or berating others is not acceptable.

1. If you have nothing nice to say, shut up.
2. If you hate someone, tell them personally. We don’t want to know.
3. If you want to be Machiavellian and stir the pot, well then you really think
you’re so witty that no one is catching on as you sit back and lick your paws.
You’ll believe yourself superior, but it’s not very noble either.
4. If you have to show off your intelligence and superior knowledge in a
pedantic manner, then you’re not very secure and it shows.
5. If you have to whine about how much you did and that no one ever notices or
wants you, then no matter your position you’re not doing this for noble means and
maybe there’s another reason no one wants you.
6. If you make yourself a martyr and make sure everyone knows, then expect to
be used that way and not to get sainthood at the end.
7. If you’re getting so out of hand in your vitriol that someone has to smack
your hand, well then maybe it’s time to go to mommy until you grow up.
8. If you can’t be constructive, or don’t know the facts, shut up.

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