Tag Archives: Christian

Homophobia and the Little Boy Who Cried Wolf

The school district of Abbotsford is at it again. A high school course is being offered called Social Justice. It deals with issues and rights for animals, gay people, races, gender, etc. This is a Ministry of Education approved course and outlines what Canadian law covers in terms of rights. It was approved to be offered this fall.

Typical of Abbotsford, where the school district has in the past banned various books because of their content, some of it being about gay people, they yet again stuck their noses in, in an effort to slow down the inevitable offering of this course.

Now Abbotsford is an interesting place. It’s nearly an hour from Vancouver and now that housing has become unaffordable for the average human in Vancouver or even Maple Ridge, people are buying out there. I have several friends who bought in Abbotsford but it’s history is more right wing. I was a book rep at one point and drove all over BC. Abbotsford was one place where religious fundamentalism raised its hoary head. I had to be very careful what I wore (taking off my extra rings) and what books I showed the bookstores. In one, even a pictorial depiction of Jesus was frowned upon. An interesting note is that this city contains many bikers as well as the bible thumpers. I’m sure it’s changing with more people moving out from Vancouver.

However, you still have that religious right screaming out about unsuitable materials in the school any time a true education is offered, especially if it involves homosexual content. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were trying to wheedle out content based on different races too. So Abbotsford school district pretending yet again that they’re just doing a “normal” (for them, maybe) review process smacks too much of the same ole prejudices. They’re the little boy crying wolf.

Yet again we have people who purport to be Christians, those who should “love thy neighbor” and to “turn the other cheek” should something offend them. Yet they get all riled up when “those people” don’t live by their values. I just can’t figure out what it matters to anyone else. Hold your religion and beliefs in your heart and don’t push them onto others. Compassion? Puhleeze. It’s only given to those who tow the line the way the fundamentalists want. How hypocritical. Really, who a person has sex with (as long as it’s not your spouse or someone under age) is no one else’s business. I could decide that in my religion the color blue was “eeeevil” and then start running around and trying to get it banned or not allowing books that mentioned blue in the schools .

Everyone might think me a kook but should my religion get more followers we could then form a cadre and start ostracizing people based on their blueness. If I don’t want blue around me, fine, but realize that other people live by other beliefs and it’s none of your business. They don’t need “saving” and they don’t want it. I really wish fundamentalists of every religion would take a reality pill and chill out. Let everyone live their lives and if they aren’t hurting someone else, let it be.


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Polyamory: I Love You and You and You

In the poly world there is polyamory, polyfidelity, polyandry, polygyny and polygamy. Yesterday I talked about the last three. Mostly I talked about polygamy and its use in religion, or under that guise for older men to take women like chattels and often to abuse young girls.

Because of this, there are laws against polygamy. At one time there was probably as much if not more behind the morality of it than the fact that women were were being abused. And maybe in some areas, and some religions and in some economies it was necessary and worked well and everyone preferred it that way. I’m sure if you asked most FLDS members they would say they prefer it the way it is. And if there really were a surplus of women it means that they would have the security of a home and a protector. If a woman was not desirable for certain reasons in our society, there is a guarantee that she’d still find a mate in this polygamous setting. Most extreme religions or fundamental sects seem to hide a more sinister side and keeping women dressed in old fashions, at home, constantly pregnant, well…that’s close to my idea of hell.

But there is another side to polygamy. It’s more commonly called polyamory, loving more than one person, or polyfidelity, being faithful, or committed to more than one person. It’s common enough in North American society but still under the covers, so to speak.

Because of marriage laws, there is no multiple marriage and in many cases three or four people may all live together but none be married. In other scenarios there may be a married couple where one or both have another partner, girlfriend or boyfriend who doesn’t live with them, but in some cases may. It may be that several people date, but all live in their own places. The permutations are endless.

I have known a man who lived with two women. When they left him to form their own relationship, he ended up with two more women. I’ve known a married woman whose boyfriend moved in with them. I know three married couples, where the man from couple A is dating the woman from couple B and the man from couple B is dating the woman from couple C, and the man from couple C is dating the woman from couple A. The woman from couple C is now pregnant by the man from couple A plus has her own children with the man from couple A.

All three couples live separately in different cities. They maintain fairly good healthy relationships with their spouses as well as their other lover. It’s complex but everyone has a choice in all of the above mentioned relationships. No one is coerced and it’s much more honest and up front than cheating.

How successful are poly relationships? As successful as monogamous marriages. Which means, some work and some don’t. I don’t know if any stats have been done on such relationships because many people keep them secret, fearing reprisals from friends, families or jobs. There is still a strong conservative, Christian element to North American society and disapproval and misunderstanding keep most poly people quiet.

As far as I’m concerned, you can love whoever you want and as many as you want. As long as no one is hurt (no rape, abuse, coercion, etc.), and full knowledge and communication is used, then it’s no one else’s business. This is the other side of the coin to the widely used “polygamy.” Since polygamy means more than one marriage partner and in most cases there are laws against that, then trying to outlaw how many people a person can love and live with gets more nebulous. In the case of polyamorous relationships, religion is most often not a factor though a person’s spiritual or religious beliefs may include or not be against such relationships.

There is already legal discussion that to charge someone for polygamy would not work because they could claim it as part of their religious freedom or rigths. Charging someone for sexual or physical abuse is much more straightforward in the courts. Like I said, the poly world is complex but not all of it is injurious.

For another look, Donald Kingsbury once wrote an award winning, science fiction novel titled Courtship Rite. It’s now out of print but can still be found. It looks at a different world where the society practices ritual scarification and the ultimate perfect relationship is seven people. This ideal is rarely attained and everyone must date anyone being brought into the group marriage. A fascinating read.


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