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Fashion Goofs

I think I commented before on the silliness of the baggy pants, nearly-to-your-knees style, where young men belt up the voluminous garment but show their underwear above the belt line. This style is good for skateboarders, for movement and for keeping that tender flesh from being abraded during a fall. It’s not good for much else. But even so, that look is of a particular style that goes together in its own odd way.

Should you take five people and tell them to dress in the same style I bet that only three of those people would get it right or be able to pull it off. Some people do not have the demeanor, fashion sense or the body type for certain looks. These are the fashion goofs. We’ve all seen them; the elderly men with sagging paunches squeezed into a Speedo bathing suit, that woman psychic I saw on TV once who had to be nearing 60 wearing her hair in two ponytails and in very pink frilly dress, Donald Trump’s massively bad comb-over.

I’m going to have to start taking pictures but here are two examples of people I saw who were unable to carry off their fashion choice no matter their confidence in their attire. I was waiting at a local coffee shop for a friend, people-watching those waiting for the bus and there was this guy trying that underwear displaying look. However he had on the equivalent of Bermuda shorts, down to the knee and fairly form fitting. They sat on his hipbone but not as low as the baggy pants style. Above this, as proudly as a peacock, he displayed his version of tighty whiteys. Often worn with the baggy pants are the equally baggy boxer shorts. These were tight and bright red and up to his waist. Yikes! The picture to the left illustrates a ludicrous look with tighty whiteys, baggy pants and a garter!

The second was not eye offending but just not right and would not have even been noticeable except the person wearing the outfit proclaimed herself to be goth. What do we imagine in the realm of goth clothing? Red, black, maybe blue, sometimes white, torn, tight, bodices, laces, frills, leather, studs, Victorian…these are all gothy. This person wore her hair long and straight, with bangs. Okay, gothy…maybe. She wore, I think, some mascara and a lipstick in the darker colors but not red nor burgundy. She always wore jeans, black, straight legged with black runners (tennis shoes). Her blouses might have had a bit of ruffle to them. All of this together does not speak goth. Although her clothing was nondescript enough and didn’t look bad on her, in no way did she resemble a goth. Her work outfits differed little from her leisure wear and the only goth was in her head.

Possibly the people who proclaim loudly they are of a group, or fashionable are those who try just a bit too hard. I’ve had female friends that look terrible in dresses because the walk like men. They’ve learned not to wear those garments. On the other hand perhaps these people should be applauded for not caring what others think. Still some eye-offending outfits would be better left to nightmares than reality.

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