These are the halcyon days of the Apocalypse Diet. I’m not taking it to its strange and bitter end where I subsist on jam, cornmeal and alcohol. April 1st is my doomsday, but let’s recap. I started this diet to see how long I could go without buying any food in my place. During that time, I’ve had a party and friends over. While I did buy food for those events, it was either completely consumed or put away to be used after the diet ends. So I do have a jar of mayonnaise, some crackers, frozen vegetables and a small bag of green olives that I am ignoring.
Going out for dinner was a bubble outside of the experiment and obviously, if the zombies were scrabbling at my door or the evil supervirus running rampant, would not be an option. And if it were truly the apocalypse, I might not have water and electricity, or I might, depending on how these hydroelectric stations run. I’ve managed to bring lunch to work throughout this, but I have cut down on portions. I’ve been given a few food items as well and allowed to have them since during the apocalypse there would be some food trade. It’s been an interesting experiment and I’ll do a final post after the diet entries on what I learned from this. Now, on to the last days of the Apocalypse Diet.
Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 88 (Mar. 28):
There does seem to be less zombie activity outside the doors. Maybe, with the coming of spring, those semi decomposed, shambling creatures are starting to rot. Or maybe, they’re becoming fecund gardens in which seeds and bulbs are sprouting. Imagine, the walking horrors looking like ambulatory flower beds. You pluck lettuce and pansy from the zombie, the zombie eats you. Fair trade.
So, today’s lunch was the last of last night’s dinner; pink pasta with beets, red cabbage, capers, tuna, and kalamata olives, with almost the last of the Parmesan cheese. It’s lasted so long because it was a fairly full container and I find it sweet, which doesn’t appeal.
Have you ever noticed how red cabbage (which is actually purple) looks like a brain when it’s cut? Maybe the zombies are winning after all. I had another dead soldier, .5 cup of couscous and for those who don’t know, it’s wheat. I didn’t rub it into separate bits like you’re supposed to. I just cooked it up. On top of that went the end-of-the-world medley; pickled artichoke hearts, sundried tomatoes in oil, garlic, tuna, red cabbage, flake yeast and some herbs and hot sauces. Oh and sunflower seeds. One of my challenges this week has been how to make something that I can actually take for lunch. This will do for Thursday.
Chocolate pudding cake for dessert, with frangelico. And I found two half boxes of lasagna noodles in the cupboard, so I’m still hanging in with the starches…just.
Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 89 (Mar. 29):
The clock is ticking down and the zombies are being pushed aside by crocuses, daffodils and the beginning of spring. Lunch was indeed the same as last night’s dinner. Dinner was the last of the crab panang curry with broken up lasagna noodles. Not as good as rounded pasta noodles but I had one and a half boxes of the stuff and have had it forever.
Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 90 (Mar. 30):
Breakfast was a slice of bread my neighbor gave me (yes one slice, to display his bread making might) with peanut butter. Lunch was hazelnuts and dried cranberries because I’ve run out of foods that I can take for lunch. Dinner, I was saved by going to my friend’s and eating Chinese food.
Apocalypse Diet (AD) Day 91 (Mar. 31):
This is the last day of the Apocalypse. Tomorrow the fools come out and I shop. I had the last of the sunflower seeds, dried cranberries and more softened toenails (banana chips) for lunch. Don’t let anyone tell you that banana chips are healthy. There is so much grease oozing off of those things that I’m throwing the rest out.
Early dinner was glass noodles, with peanut butter and soy, and the last of the mixed shellfish, really almost enough for two meals but I’m heartily sick of mussels for quite a while now. They never were my fave, especially the frozen variety. I drank the last cider in the fridge, pear cider and that is the end.
Today is the beginning of a new way of eating. I officially stopped the diet and then scoured my fridge since it was mostly empty. And I mean scour, pulling out every drawer and rack right down to the cavity. It’s never been so clean. What do I have left: 3/4 of a red cabbage, three apples, a few cloves of garlic, a jar of pickles, a bit of a jar of sundried tomatoes and another of artichoke hearts, sauces, spices, a few glass noodles, round rice tortillas, dried cranberries, plums, figs, guavas (how does someone who hates dried fruit end up with so much?), some pumpkin and sesame seeds, and frozen berries. I already gave my neighbor half a bag of raisins, threw out the rest of the banana chips and the very dead and dried prunes.
I went to the store and bought $30 in veggies and another $15 on rice, turkey wieners and tuna. Tomorrow I’m starting a different type of diet, one that limits fat and carbs and sugars. But for now, I survived the zombie invasion, and managed to exist for three months. There will be a follow up post but now…there are some veggies waiting for a party in my belly.